How to Improve Your Assertive Communication Skills
Particularly if you’re just starting out in the workplace, it can be tricky to gain respect and authority. One of the ways you can do this is by being assertive in your communication.
Even though that might sound scary, it’s a very valuable skill that gets easier to use each time you do. In this blog, we’re going to explain how you can implement assertive communication skills to your benefit in the workplace, treading the line carefully so that you don’t come across as aggressive. If this is something you’ve struggled with, here are some steps you can take to be more assertive in your workplace communication.
Quick links
- What does “assertive” mean?
- What are assertive communication skills?
- Tips: How to be more assertive at work
- How to improve your assertive communication skills
What does “assertive” mean?
The dictionary defines assertive to mean “having or showing a confident and forceful personality.” In the context of the workplace, it means to show confidence when speaking within a professional capacity, while still remaining respectful and aiming to achieve a goal.
For example, asking your line manager what would be required for a promotion is a conversation that requires an assertive tone so that your manager is more likely to take heed of your request.
What are assertive communication skills?
Knowing the definition of assertive doesn’t mean you’re able to effectively put that assertiveness into practice. To do that, you must master the correct communication skills, such as:
- Eye contact
- Active listening
- Emotional intelligence
- Addressing conflict
- Maintaining boundaries
- Declining requests
The benefits of being assertive at work
Being assertive at work won’t be all sunshine and rainbows; there will definitely be times when declining a request might upset a colleague, even if you know it’s the right thing to do. If you’re not picking your battles properly, you might find yourself with more enemies than friends at work.
Having said that, there are countless benefits to being assertive at work, which can garner respect from your colleagues. Despite being miffed that you’ve declined a request, your colleague will likely appreciate you managing your time effectively instead of biting off more than you can chew, which can cause them headaches further down the line.
Some benefits of being assertive at work include:
- Increased confidence: By sticking to your boundaries and standing up for yourself, you’ll slowly but surely notice that your confidence increases.
- Improved credibility: Acting with surety demands respect from colleagues and will likely lead to your peers acknowledging the increase in credibility.
- Reduced chances of burnout: Enforcing boundaries at work by saying no to extra workloads will almost certainly reduce the chance of burnout by avoiding the burden of unmanageable workloads.
- Better efficiency: Reducing your workload, focusing on your priorities and reducing stress will help you work through your workload more efficiently.
Tips: How to be more assertive at work
The benefits of being assertive at work are numerous, but putting it into action can be a daunting experience. Let’s take a look at how you can effectively incorporate some tips to improve your assertiveness.
Understand your value
No matter your seniority at a business, you have intrinsic value as a human being and also as an important member of the team. Before being assertive, embolden yourself with a gentle reminder that you are valued and your voice is worth being heard.
Think about your achievements, your contributions, and the skills that have got you this far.
Set boundaries
Before you can set boundaries, you have to be sure what your boundaries are. Contemplate what has made you feel stressed or uncomfortable at work and begin to set boundaries to minimise those things. For example, unrealistic turnarounds on projects. Using your contract, you can determine your working hours and stick to them to avoid burnout.
Speak up when you have something to say
One of the hardest things about being assertive is learning to stand up for yourself by speaking up when you have something to say. Being a people pleaser, it’s easy to stay quiet rather than deal with the discomfort of having a mildly confrontational conversation. However, you will find that by addressing issues head-on, you’ll relieve a large burden off your shoulders. Use assertive communication techniques, focused on “I” sentences.
Stay calm
Conflict, by its nature, is emotional, but the workplace isn’t the place for it. As best as you can, detach your emotions from the situation so you can effectively negotiate the situation towards an effective outcome. Remember, being assertive isn’t about being aggressive.
How to improve your assertive communication skills
Knowing what being assertive looks like is only half the battle. Let’s explore what practical steps you can take to become a more assertive person in the workplace.
Speak confidently
Speaking confidently is an important factor in being assertive. Using action words such as “will”, “want”, “choose”, “believe”, and “feel” will help you demonstrate that you have a clear plan and are being transparent with your beliefs.
Although filler words are a natural part of speech, using them too much can dilute your messaging, so it might be best to rehearse what you need to say beforehand.
Control your tone of voice
When speaking with authority, you must be careful not to stray into an aggressive or a passive tone; striking the balance is key. Speak with a steady tone and volume and be aware of your tone should things get heated during the conversation.
Your requests should avoid sacrificing the needs of others. Remember, you want them to help you; aggressively asking for help will probably put them off.
Learn the importance of discussion
If you’re the kind of person who thinks it’s easier not to pursue something because you didn’t get the answer you want, then we’ve got news for you: you could probably do with being more assertive.
Being assertive also requires empathy and active listening. During a conversation, take care to really listen to what the other person is saying and understand their point of view. Even if they can’t give you what you want, it might help you to understand their answer if you listen closely to their reasoning and attempt to put yourself in their shoes.
Be mindful of your body language
Your eye contact, posture, listening cues and reactions all play a part in assertiveness. If your body language is too aggressive, those around you go into defence mode, while overly passive nonverbal communication will make them feel ignored.
Maintaining eye contact ensures you stay focused and lets the other person know that you’re invested in and care about what they’re saying. Combined with the appropriate gestures, a well-modulated voice and good timing, the impact of your messaging tends to be amplified as a result.
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